Wednesday, 3 June 2015

1st Month of Summer After Year 2 Ended, Bits of Thoughts Back At Home

The first time for going home so soon after the semester finished
(for the past 3 semesters i always stay on in Singapore for some time, like dragging at least one week)
The process was a hectic one, cuz I ended my final exams quite late (mid of the second week of exam weeks, many students have already finished their papers and gone for holidays)
Clearing up things from hostel back to aunt's house in 2 days, and went home on Mother's Day
Apparently all of us, mum&dad&I were so tired that day (mum settling her business, dad doing school stuffs plus me just reached from a long bus ride) so we didn't go for a proper celebration dinner, but wells, they said they are happy enough to see me back home
but i still had a small treat of our own homegrown (chilled) jackfruit!!! tasted so nice!!! This is the last indulgence for me before the torture of my wisdom tooth surgery... :(
On Monday, we had a make-up dinner for Mother's Day
(had the famous beef noodles at Rainbow City near Samtet Primary School)
These were all the good things before my nightmare began....

12 May, as scheduled, I went to the Oral and Maxillofacial Surgery Dept in Ipoh General Hospital for my wisdom tooth surgery
It was a horrible experience for me (although the dentist assured me that it was a minor surgery)
The procedure was long (about 30mins), all the sounds from the tools were eerie
Although I am not strange to the dental chair, but still my body tensed up and I even clenched my fists for most of the time lying on the chair
What's worse was that my nerves have gotten resistance to the anesthesia, and the dentist had to give me two more jabs to numb my pain
Even with anesthesia, the moment when they scrapped your bone, cut your teeth into halves and the root being dug out (crrkkk....imagine a huge tree root being dug out and the sound effect often played in movies), the feelings were those that you don't wanna try them again
I cried after the surgery (shocked the doctors)
not for the physical pain but the discomforts from the procedure and inexplicable emotional distress for losing my teeth

The healing process was worse...
My face was swollen for 4 days at least, can't chew food nor eat properly (can only use one side of your jaw), can't brush my teeth properly, the jaw at the surgery side was tensed up for 2weeks+
Besides, since the bones were cut and scrapped, it required longer time to heal
(even now writing the blog is 3 weeks after but the site is still not fully recovered yet)
1 week after the surgery for the follow-up visit and suture removal
The dentist found a slit at the site and thought it would be better to stitch it up to prevent infection
(another 2 stitches)
Got another jab of anesthesia (and later add on another jab cuz I feel the pain, guess my resistance level had gone up)
What's worse? My phone died and had to buy a new one cuz repairing was too much for its value

During the two weeks,
didn't really rest well as my UROPS is still ongoing and I need to keep my work going to revise my setup for data collection
Been going to places to buy materials, spent time preparing models (luckily mum was helpful enough to attach some scrub pads on the wires for me), setting out the models in the field, and observations
After all these works but still
Not getting results that I hypothesized....What could be the problem???
So I noted down what I did and what happened to bring back for consultation...

Ah right...
This post is not just for ranting and talking about what I have done during the 2 weeks in Ipoh
but also....bits of my feeling back there
Seriously feel that Ipoh is becoming an aging town
with all of us (younger generations) moving out to further study or work (a.k.a. chasing dreams or 揾食 or cari makan)
and only be back for holiday, catch up with parents, visiting relatives and occasionally (if our schedules fit) gathering with high school friends
Ever since I left my hometown, every time when I come back I will have the sense of 惆怅 (the nearest English word would be melancholy I guess)
For all the scenes becoming 物是人非, or sometimes even the scenes becoming different and so unfamiliar with what I was used to

All the relatives (aunts and uncles) and especially my parents getting older
(feel bitter whenever I think of this when I see them)
the warm flow gratitude with a sense of owing to my parents rises when my father fetch me, my mum preparing meals for me even though they were so tired whenever I go home
And that day, my mum insisted bringing me to visit the aunt who is under depression
Seeing her in the sullen mood, my heart aches, with no improvement, only deterioration of her condition
I wouldn't want to comment much about her case but,
it's largely due to family relationships.....I pray for them to reconcile.....

Going back to school to visit my former teachers, same scenes, some teachers whom I know left their jobs, some teacher who taught me previously getting old/getting promoted, some new teachers whom I couldn't name
Most of the juniors with whom I am close to have graduated, leaving those faces seeing me as a stranger
Ah saying of junior...
Feels good to meet you on the train XiaoTong!!! It's been a long time since we last chatted for so long...All the best for your journey in Law!!!
Oh kays!!! not too much sadness in the post
something positive
saying about what's good in Ipoh
generally food quality (especially white coffee!!!) is maintained and I wasn't disappointed for the 2 weeks stay in Ipoh eating mostly outside food (mum was too tired to cook for every meal)
and I found that everytime when I go home, my acnes and skin problem will automatically disappear
(although I didn't care as much, like using cleanser during every shower, and I didn't apply any medication that I do in Singapore)
I really want to attribute this to our good water quality haha!!!
(although my other friends said that it might be due to pressure-free back at home)

So much back at home......after this two weeks would be the UKM trip for the 1st Asian Undergraduate Summit organized by NUS University Scholars Club!!!
Wanna know what happened?
STAY TUNED!!!

There Goes....My Year 2...

Ohhhh!!!!!
I know, it's been quite a while since the semester has ended,
but had been busy with moving out of hostel and rushing back to Malaysia
Had my wisdom teeth removed, and continued doing my project at home with my wound aching...
And yes the results were released yesterday and now I finally get to settle down and write some reflections for my past academic year (or just this past semester)

Overall the journey for my Year 2 was fruitful (I think, if not regarded as wasted)
At least pulling up my academic performance (although not a lot)
Experienced working in ExCo of an orchestra (many sweet memories with a touch of bitterness)
Long term part-time with fixed schedule (secured but rigid)
And....staying in hostel, technically living alone, settle everything alone
And fanatically going for musical events from which I learnt a lot (which might, a bit, explain for my academic results not increasing a lot? haha but I know but I should not blame it, all cuz of my time management)
New record! A pile of program notes hahaha!!!
Life in Year 2 was really different than in Year 1
when I used to be carefree and fearless (even when I got a D+)
but since Year 2 started my mindset suddenly (don't think it's gradual) changed
when O' Week started I felt like I turned older by 10 years!
(I know it's a bit exaggerating but that's how I felt)
started thinking a lot about my aimed graduation class, how much I can pull up from the low CAP I created in Year 1, how to build up my network and find helpful connections before graduation, which career path to go, how to further study my violin and piano techniques with limited time and resources.....
all these I hadn't been thinking in Year 1

And this past year, many friends of mine kinda came and went, not around as much as they used to be like last time
especially friends in the orchestra and my coursemate
maybe it's just that I'm not used to the high turnover rate of friends in university
where everybody's schedule is different and all have different plans along their uni journey.
Luckily there are still quite a few people that I always see, and almost always by my side when I need them :)
but this might not be the case when Year 3 comes...
my Life Science course mates mostly go to Biomedical specialization which has no common module with my Environmental Biology
on the other hand my orchestra friends, some are graduating, some might not stay during their Year3&4 as they want to focus on academics...
oh wells....got to make new friends again...

Saying of academics...
My CAP is really all along fluctuating like waves on a lake surface since Year 1 haha
3.38 > 3.22 > 3.36 > 3.42
(hope to reach 4.0 before graduate)
So far getting near (and nearer) to CAP 3.5
The modules I've taken during this semester:
LSM2101 Metabolism & Regulation: A module which I initially didn't like, a lot of memorization to do, and biochemistry, with webcasts so I skipped a lot lectures and watched the recordings back in my room instead. However along the semester I realized how related to us the contents of the module are, I ended up liking the module (and actually the exam of it was not as hard as I expected).

LSM2102 Molecular Biology: Another module about genetics......A level-up version of LSM1102....Classes of the first lecturer Assoc Prof Low were interesting, and basically he just emphasized on basic concepts and encouraged us to apply them into scenarios instead of just memorizing and regurgitating, however the next two parts were not so fun, all needs memorization which I just did them like 2 weeks before exam, so a grade B kinda justified my "not so much" effort.

LSM2191 Lab Techniques in Life Sciences: Another "forced to do" module...Was thinking what it has to do with my Environmental Biology Specialization, which I expected to focus on ecological and behavioral studies...It turned out that I was wrong, as environmental biologist also need the molecular biology lab techniques while studying phylogeny of the organisms....But oh wells I'm still not very good in this kinda micro-scale things, so I made sure that I understand the basic concepts. And for the lab reports, I kept asking for help from friends, yeah without them I would not survive haha!!!

PL3235 Social Psychology: One of my favorite modules done so far....For the social phenomena are all so interesting, and now although I can't read minds but can analyze certain behaviors of people hahaha!!! But OMG why!!! I (technically) spent 2 semesters (cuz dropped it last sem as I couldn't handle overloading) doing it but still only got a B, now I know how steep the bell curve in Psychology Major can be. Although I did quite well in tutorial assignments but guess it couldn't cover my mistakes done in the final exams, which I didn't really write well in the Short Answer Qns...

LSM3288 Advanced UROPS in Life Sciences: It's titled "advanced" but I think my project is no more than a child's play, with the experimental design not working well and hence not really getting any data. Initially should be a 1-semester project but insufficient data and delayed progress due to bad time management made us extend the project to next semester, which means I will have less time to take other modules that I'm interested in. Oh wells, will (and must) sort it out during the next few weeks of summer so that it won't be that bad when the semester starts...

Now I have completed half of my university studies, although not flying high but not a lot of remorse, which I'm happy (although not fully satisfied) with my current state.
Hope for the best, regardless in my academic journey or my walk with friends.
Would like to thank God for all I have and all that I have lost, for all those have made who I am today and what I will be in the coming days...